Never coming home
by Twilight Always
Summary: Severus and Lily, SONGFIC. His point of view on Lily, On James, on everything that happened between them, how he loved her, how he longed for her, and how her in the end,lost her. READ, you know you want to song- One republic - Come home . R&R.


_**Come home**_

_**By: Twilight always **_

_**C.D.J.B**_

* * *

_**Hello world  
Hope you're listening**_

_I wish she could hear me, I mean really, really hear me. She was my best friend, she was my everything, and she was my world. How could she not hear me? I mean, sure, she heard what I said, but she didn't pay any attention to what I didn't say. . . I know, that might sound confusing, but to me its how I felt. She should have known I loved her. . ._

_  
**Forgive me if I'm young  
for speaking out of turn**_

_I remember being in love, being young. Being incredibly stupid. I grew up with Lily…I told her she was a witch, and I had watched her before that even. We were best friends from that day on…it didn't matter that she was muggleborn, and she didn't care that I was a slimy, greasy git, who was constantly being teased, no, that would never drive determined Lily away from something or someone she loved, that was one thing no one could deny about Lily Evans. _

_I was always with her, well, almost always, and when I wasn't, I always wished I was…_

_But she started to fall for someone. Someone she swore she'd never fall for, someone who Lily and I had sworn to always hate. James Potter. Lily fell, for James Potter. Even if she couldn't admit it to herself, I could see it. She didn't like him, I knew that, but that was because she hated the fact that she felt for him. I am…I was, her best friend, I above everyone knew these things. _

_But this was least of my problems. You see, dear Lily was a muggle born, and I was a slytherin. I had nothing against muggle borns, but my new…friends, they had other thoughts on 'blood difference' and they would love to see Lily Evans, a powerful, 'mud blood' witch from Gryffindor none the less, fall hard. They would love that; they would bath in that over powering glory…_

_Then I said something…something that just slipped out of my mouth, like it was so natural, and easy. I called my dear best friend a mud blood. Something I swore I'd never do. And well…it all went down from there. _

_  
**There's someone I've been missing  
I think that they could be  
the better half of me**_

_Everything went downhill…I changed, and it was something I would never be able to really justify. I wanted to belong. That feeling grew so strong, the feeling of want, the want to belong; it grew strong, and burned like fire. That fire just increased when she walked out of my life. She couldn't forgive me, ever. I knew, she said that we'd begun going different ways…and I knew she knew about my new…friends. _

_  
**They're in the wrong place trying to make it right  
but I'm tired of justifying  
**_

_I was always justifying them, those friends. To anyone who ever had anything to say about them? No one messed with us, no one. And this made me grow cold inside, this made me grow hard. This made me more like them then ever…_

_**So I say you'll.  
Come home  
Come home  
Cause I've been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long**_

_It was summer, and I was back home…I hung out in this old, rotten tree house that me and Lily used to hang out in. Every moment I was there, I prayed that Lily would think back to this old tree house, and come by… just come by, that's all, just give me some sign that she still cared in some little way…that somewhere deep inside, she missed me…_

_  
**And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all I see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
So come home  
Oh**_

_Where had I even gone wrong? I used to fight, fight on her side, and be proud to be on it. Now, we don't even look each other in the eye. Don't speak any words to each other. And I couldn't help but wonder, was this because it was just to hard to look into the eyes of someone like that? Or was it just natural, because of the sides we both picked? ___

**I get lost in the beauty  
Of everything i see  
The world isn't as half as bad  
As they paint it to be**

_When I was a child, no matter what people had to say about me, no matter how greasy I appeared and such, I always appreciated and admired the beauty of the world, of everything around me…but I was young, of course, and everything was new, and beautiful. Lily was beautiful. _

_  
**If all the sons  
If all the daughters  
Stopped to take it in  
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin  
It might start now...Yeahh  
Well maybe I'm just dreaming out loud  
Until then  
**_

_I wish the differences of the world weren't there. That was what tore me and Lily apart. I wish it never happened. I wish I could've taken Lily away from the world, from everything in the wizarding world, and in the muggle world, that ever judged me loving Lily, and everything that ever tried to rip us apart. _

__

**Come home  
Come home  
because I've been waiting for you  
for so long  
for so long**

_I couldn't believe it when I heard, I mean, I could, but I didn't want to. We all saw it coming, even the slytherines, but that didn't change that fact that I could not believe it. I didn't want to, but little whispers telling myself they were lies wouldn't help me now, they wouldn't spare the jealousy, and anger. Lily Evans was with James Potter. My Lily! My best friend! With Potter! It wasn't fair, and I remember slamming a fist against the wall, and having to go to the hospital wing. _

_She never even looked at me, didn't lock eyes, didn't give any apologetic I miss you, or I'm sorry looks. She was focused on Potter, I could tell, everyone could tell, that she loved him, and for years, everyone could tell that he had loved her. Now they were both in love, with each other, It was obvious, the way they looked at each other, the way he would even innocently touch her, and she'd lean into his touch, and her cheeks would go a beautiful Scarlett color. The way the toned everything else out, but each other. Like they were the only ones in the world together. _

_  
**And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
Ever known  
So come home  
Oh**  
_

_Hogwarts ended, Lily got the highest marks in our graduating class, no surprise there. But as this was announced, and everyone, except the slytherines, clapped happily for her, giving cat calls, and hugging her, or slapping her back lightly. But I didn't. I didn't say a word, I sat there, my friends with me, I didn't clap for her. I was emotionless. You learned, in the position I had been put in, to not show your emotions. Do not show what you care about, because people wouldn't even bother to think twice about taking it away from you. _

_Like I said, Hogwarts ended, and it was time to accept and welcome my fate. I was to be one of them, I was to officially join the side that I was basically destined to be in since that hat yelled out my house name. I joined the death eaters after Hogwarts. Something I promised Lily I'd never, ever do. And that made me sick to my stomach. _

_She got married. And it's no surprise to who she was married too. James Potter. I saw a picture, someone sent it to me, it was of James, and he was dressed in a black tusk, smiling the biggest smile that could be on ones face. His arms were locked tightly around her, as Lily was leaning into him, laughing, the picture moved, like all wizard pictures. I didn't know who sent it to me…probably one of those marauders, trying to hurt me, rub it in my face. She looked beautiful, and it killed me. I cut the picture, cut James out of it, and put it in a book I never bothered to read. . . She chooses him, and it killed me.__  
_

_Later on, they had a child. A baby boy, Harry Potter. I heard he looks like James. But with the exact eyes of his mother. I hoped I'd never have to look into those eyes…I didn't need a constant reminder of what I had lost. _

_  
**Everything I can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why I need you here  
Everything I can't be  
Is everything you should be  
And that's why I need you here  
So hear this now**_

_She was lucky, they were lucky. They were the lucky ones. _

_The prophecy arrived, and my mouth had opened, spilling Lily and James out. It was my fault. "Please, my lord…" I has said, choosing my words so carefully, "please, spare the woman…she used to mean something to me"_

_Like that would've worked, but I had nothing to lose now, if I was going to completely lose her, as in death loose, and it didn't matter, I had to say something, I had to try. _

_  
**Come home  
Come home  
because I've been waiting for you  
for so long  
for so long**_

_I had nightmares all night, tossing and turning, screaming and waking up, yelling out Lily's name. I ran to my window, looking out into the midnight sky. I grabbed my broom, and flew out. I went to the Potters house, hoping I wasn't too late. I had to save them, I had to save her. And if he and the child came with that, then so be it. _

_I was too late, I knew as my feet hit the ground and I hopped off my broom. They were dead. And I got there just in time to hear a death, blood curling, soul crushing, heart breaking, tear jerking, deathly scream. A scream that pierced through my soul, through my heart. And I wished I was dead. I waited a few moments, petrified, and I knew the dark lord had left the house by then. I let out, a terrible, horrible, scream. I fell to my knees, I cried so hard, tears were running down my face, I cried so hard my whole body hurt. I cried so hard I threw up. Everything, was gone…nothing, nothing made sense anymore. Everything went black._

_  
**And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I've ever known  
Ever known  
So come home  
Come home**_

_My best friend… my best friend was gone._

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AN: Hey guys I hoped you liked! I haven't writen on here in a while, i've been working on my own stuff, for a novel I want to publish at some point in my life - we all have dreams, do we not ? = )

so I hope you liked it, check out my other stories, and I have a few other stories in mind right now, so watch out for those too!

Now please, please, please, please, REVIEW= ) I worked hard on this, it'll take ya a minute, if even, to write me a review, so please do= )

Thanks,

Twilight Always,

C.D.J.B.


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